It’s a pity, isn’t it? The idilic situation would be romantic love exist forever and ever, especially when there are kids to rise. One always want the best environment for the kids.
Many times, each member of a couple evolve in opposite ways, have different needs or we don’t feel the same as before. We can’t force feelings, not even doing the best therapy in the world.
I understand you and your worry about your kids but you have to take into account your needs also. Think that you could be even a greater parent if you feel good with yourself. It’s something you are gonna project in them as well.
I know it’s very sad when a loving relationship ends up but you have to think in the best option for everyone, including you and your spouse.

It’s good that you can talked to her and she could know what you feel because it gives her also the possibility to take her own choices.

You and she will have to make decisions. What kind of relation is worthy for her and what’s for you.