I'm sorry you are in this situation but unfortunately I don't think this situation involves any solutions for you. I also understand the rationales given by your therapist about how the mental health system works but those rationales are not helpful for you. It seems that your case is too complex for the mental health system you are in and they are limited in their workings and thus cannot really help you.

The only way I know how to work with such complex cases is to let the person become dependent by not fostering it from the therapist side and slowly, gently and patiently help the person to go through this dependence while having the firm belief that if the time and conditions are right, every person starts to emerge as an autonomous entity. The job of the therapist is to create such conditions that you would start to feel safe enough to begin to become more independent and autonomous. This happens when you can be sure enough in your relationship with your T that he is there for you when you need it. That's a slow process that probably takes years and it's not aimed for symptom reduction but for rebuilding the character and internalising the safe persons (T in this case) as objects.

The problem is that I don't think you find the practitioners that do this kind of work within public mental health systems. For obvious reasons of course - it would be too much to expect the public to pay for such services. So I suppose what you can expect from the public service is mostly time-limited help aimed at symptom reduction or alleviating the immediate situation triggered stress.