HH, you have to allow yourself to make mistakes. You are only human. You made a mistake. Accept that you are fallible and ease up on yourself.

I have never met someone who expected so much perfection from themselves. I thought I was bad, lol. Take a minute and think of your past mistakes. You recovered from them all and learned and grew. It's okay to have made a mistake. The shame and embarrassment are really useless emotions in this at this point. Initially, sure they tell that you dont like you behaved that way. But you cant take it back. You can only resolve to do better next time.

Keep repeating the above to yourself every time the negative intrusive thoughts come in your head that you must be perfect. You dont have to be perfect. We all screw up. We all say things we wish we hadn't. We all drink too much and occasionally act the fool or something similar.

Maybe it's time to build a new standard for yourself that includes how you will deal with yourself when you make a mistake. And that standard could be just to self reflect and determine how to behave next time. Then you can move on because you've lived up to your standard to continually grow.

I mean a standard of perfection doesnt leave much room for growth, does it?