Quote:
Originally Posted by seesaw
HH, you have to allow yourself to make mistakes. You are only human. You made a mistake. Accept that you are fallible and ease up on yourself.
I have never met someone who expected so much perfection from themselves. I thought I was bad, lol. Take a minute and think of your past mistakes. You recovered from them all and learned and grew. It's okay to have made a mistake. The shame and embarrassment are really useless emotions in this at this point. Initially, sure they tell that you dont like you behaved that way. But you cant take it back. You can only resolve to do better next time.
Keep repeating the above to yourself every time the negative intrusive thoughts come in your head that you must be perfect. You dont have to be perfect. We all screw up. We all say things we wish we hadn't. We all drink too much and occasionally act the fool or something similar.
Maybe it's time to build a new standard for yourself that includes how you will deal with yourself when you make a mistake. And that standard could be just to self reflect and determine how to behave next time. Then you can move on because you've lived up to your standard to continually grow.
I mean a standard of perfection doesnt leave much room for growth, does it?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by seesaw
And if someone is holding it against you, whether in really life or just a judgmental voice in your head, then you have got to ignore them. That judgmental person has more right to judge for your mistakes, and you shouldn't judge yourself for your mistakes.
We all.make them. And what I know of you is that you do try to learn from your mistakes and that is all you can do. You know some people dont even care about their mistakes, so the fact that you try to improve says a lot. Give yourself some credit.
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Thank you @
seesaw. I DO try to learn.... I am typically all about self-development and self-improvement. I've been in therapy for most of my life, working on self-improvement. And I had a lot of issues to overcome!!! Many, too many.... and I still do.
I will try to ignore my own critical inner voice. I know I can be far too self-critical, to the point of it being not healthy or productive.
A friend told me last night to write down five things I like about myself and to read the list every morning. I think I will try that.
I need to remember all the things I am proud of myself for. I've come a long way over the years and I still have a long way to go....
but I should focus on the progress I HAVE made instead of the many miles I still have ahead. Positives vs negatives. It's a constant inner struggle for me, and I see that in myself.
Thank you again.