I can control only me. my standards work only for me. if I want to let others into my life and I find my expectations are limiting that, then I need to either examine and reevaluate my standards or the people I intend to befriend.

high standards and expectations are great but not if the bar is placed at such a high extreme that few meet the golden standard. then you end up complaining that your life might be empty.

you could keep the basics of your standards but accept the fact that not everyone wants to or has goals of meeting them. for example, I am my own person. spent many years developing my standards, goals, personality etc...I might be a great friend to you, but if you don't give me a chance and let me get my foot in (because I don't meet some level of approval) then you will miss out on our friendship. when I am in a relationship, my goals don't get sacrificed for another, but get joined together. you have to give people a chance.

take pride in yourself first. don't set the bar so high that it may automatically lead to failure. then you will always fail..give yourself a fighting chance. with it so high, you've set yourself up....