I am sorry you are suffering so. It is at times like this that I find a good dose of old-fashioned DBT can help. Maybe try to watch an episode of your fave show. Clean--I find cleaning the house incredibly therapeutic. Always feel better after a big clean. It's a task, requires some focus and energy. It's good exercise. Draw, paint, write, blow glass, ride a bike, go look at some cool buildings, watch videos of cute animals--always makes me feel better. How can you feel depressed when a cute STt Bernard litter just got rescued from homelessness and is positively giddy with their new world? I can't.

These things aren't cures, but they may provide some temporary relief and get your brain operating some different, more positive neural pathways.

Sending you hugs and support. You can do this. Don't give up. But as hard as it is right now, you do need to take some kind of action to recalibrate your depressed brain. Sometimes, mine just needs a good kick in the shorts. Action is the key right now.