Hi there and welcome to pc.
It's good you've joined here where you can let things out without feeling guilty.
You don't say if you're seeing a therapist or taking any meds for your
depression? Or what kind of support you're getting?
And I know this may seem a silly question but...do you know the root cause of your depression? Some people do and others don't?
And I know I'm asking a lot of questions here but it's not to be nosey...it's just so we alll can know better how to help and support you.
And again...a very warm welcome to pc.