Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdDancer
I woke up in a mild funk again. I don't know what to do today. I don't want to do anything, but don't want to do nothing, either. I should look at a French learning textbook. I'll push myself.
Tomorrow is another dreaded trip to Philly for my husband's eyes. The worst part is that his appointment is in the mid morning, instead of the usual 1 pm"ish". During commuter time. They were pressuring him to take an 8:30 am, but we said "No!" because we'd have to get up extremely early. I wish poor hubby's eye would finally recover well enough that these trips were just twice per year! We were there just four weeks ago. We've been making them for what seems like years. At least there is no snow in the forecast.
I see my therapist today. I don't feel like talking to her. I don't dislike her, but...I don't know. I am in a state of mind where I don't like anything. I'm even sick of myself right now. I'm irritable.
Does anyone here remember the children's book about "Pierre who doesn't care"? You know, how Pierre would keep responding "I don't care!" That stupid thing is going through my head. If I recall correctly, in the end Pierre said "I don't care" even when faced with the danger of being eaten by a lion. Am I right? Can someone remind me if the lion ended up eating him? Or did he suddenly care when faced with that imminent danger? It's been over 40 years since I read/heard that story.
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I am sorry you are struggling a bit, BirdDancer. I wonder if maybe you are just going through a bit of a bumpy/rough/'slighly less stable bp patch?? It happens to virtually all of us. Do you think your meds are all solid? Where they should about be?
When I have the "I don't give a s*** self-talk going, and I fairly regularly do, unfortunately, sometimes it is situational (just grumpy about something happening or about to happen in my life), sometimes, I am physcially tired, sometimes, my bp is acting up, and sometimes, I think I just get momentarily tired of the accumulated mass and burden of having to constantly deal with all this stuff. And of course, sometimes, it may be a bit of everything at once.
So, I hope you are not judging yourself. It happens. This could just be another speed bump. Probably is. This too shall pass, as they say.
I hope the trip to Philly is calmer than anticipated. Never did like driving in that city. I hope you find some peace. Sending you support and perhaps a little uptick in how you are feeling--soon.