My core is shaken. I feel like I could vomit. I feel like I’m going to explode with emotion. I want to crawl in a ball and die. But my kids are here and my husband isn’t. I can’t handle this darkness right now and I don’t even know what to do about it. I’m listening to Ani Difranco. The emotional connection and nostalgia I feel from her music only makes this worse but I can’t turn it off. It is calling me. I don’t know what one little pill is going to do to help me through this night. But, I think I’m going to take klonapin anyway. I haven’t taken it in quite some time. I am just so emotionally exhausted and I feel so raw. I don’t understand how these emotions can creep up so quickly but they have and I’m drowning. Sadness...pure sadness.