married,

I feel for you. I divorced my ex because of his addiction issues, one was a sex addiction. He lost a good job because of it and got involved with a woman who actually called herself a Paypal *****.

Someone posted a good link. Follow that and get some good information.

Also you have to take care of you in this situation. I know how upsetting this is...it sucks and it hurts. But focusing on the problem 24X7 only makes you more worried. Something that helped me was just to do anything to get out of the situation and get out with friends. Lots of times when my ex got too deep into his computer porn, I'd just take off for a drink with friends and he'd finally realize I was gone. If I stayed home too much he was worse...like the old hawk was watching. It at least changed the dynamic between us a little bit...at least I was somewhat calmer when I had to deal with him LOL.

Can you talk to him about this in a calm way? I wouldn't have a long, drawn out conversation with him but sort of just broach the subject and see if he's willing to talk to you about it? You may hear things you don't like to hear out of him and you'll need to sort of brace yourself for that. He also needs to know what you think is erotic too...

When men look at porn, I don't really think it's about their spouse or girlfriend. I do think like you said, it's about the fantasy.