Could he possible have a mental illness undiagnosed?? Often when people blame everyone else for there problems it might be depression or something else.

Now.... he could certainly just be a lousy human being /bad match for you that instead of being responsible for his life blames others for anything that doesn’t go his way.

Do you think couples counseling might help or are you just done with it ???

If you don’t have property or children it’s pretty easy and not to expensive to get divorced. Then he can go back to Seattle and do whatever and you can move on with your life.

I hope you can figure out what’s best for you