He sounds very negative and like a huge wet blanket on you. That would burn anyone out! Personally, it would drive me insane because generally I'm a positive person.

If he wants to return to Seattle, perhaps just tell him to leave and move back and you'll stay in Arizona. You're not happy, he's not happy, why drag this on and on? He seems to not want to be there, he complains about everything and blames you for it. So let him leave. That's what I would do. Honestly, good riddance. Who needs to be dragged down in life by their spouse constantly? Life is hard enough as it is.