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Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967
I visited my NP yesterday. I cried all the way there and during the visit and after the visit talking to my daughter. I wasn’t necessarily looking for a med adjustment because my SAD is fairly hard to treat. She said she’d see me in March and to let the increased have more time to kick in. I’ve been on the increased dose since mid December. I am disappointed at her response. I understand that I have severe, treatment resistant depression on a good day but it’s early in the game to give up.
I’m going out to a movie tonight to get my mind off things. I have to notarize and fedex a medical form that has very emotional connotations for me. I’m having a hard time getting it done. Looking for signs to move forward.
On a brighter note, I’ll probably be meeting M Monday to visit. I didn’t think I’d see her until February so that cheers me up. I have a dessert recipe that I want to try out and take to her.
I’ve calculated that it is 19.71 weeks until the pool opens...my happy time. I’ve made some goals and plans to see me through this period of time.
Warm regards to all and hugs to all those that are struggling.  |
Jennifer, I am so sorry to hear about your sufferings. I have noticed that when I suffer very much, it's harder to find the right words. To avoid misunderstandings it can be wise to take time to think through what is the best way to express the topic one wants to speak about and after that play a role-play where one thinks of the surroundings one wants to say something in (imagination) and say it out loud before one meets this/these person(-s). But of course one has to listen to the response from the audience as well.
The general official treatment for SAD is Light-therapy and getting as much daylight as possible (and for many to take extra D-vitamins during the winter).
I am sorry if I have misunderstood anything, but I thought you were diagnosed with some sort of bipolar disorder. If so the medications that is for you is for bipolar disorder and not for unipolar depression. It can be dangerous to give people with bipolar disorder medication meant for those with unipolar disorder (it can make the bipolar worse, eventually give rise to mania/hypomania). The diagnose 'Atypical depression' is no more in the diagnosis manual (DSM-5), but it can be a part of a Depression diagnose and is then callded 'With atypical feaures'. (The old diagnose was from the time it was rare to see an "out of hospital patient". It meant that they could feel happy in some times of the day or some days (not always depressed during the whole day). Well most of us who are not deep, deep, deep down in depression have our happy moments if we have long-time depression).
If there is uncertainity about your diagnose, the best for you would probably be to ask for a clarification so that you understand why you have the diagnose you have.
The health care workers must be allowed to work in what is a professional accepted way for them when it comes to medications. Medications need to be tried out for some time before the professional can (by observation and listening to the patients experience with the medication for that treatment of time) before the same professional is able to tell on proffesional ground that this or that medication works or has to be changed. It is not their fault that it is so. They have to live with that system as well. There is no wonder-cure for the moment ... sorry to say, but so it is.
I am of the unipolar sort and use SSRI (for the none bipolars). The medication is not what helps my SAD because I am on them regularly all year around. It is the use of the light box and the use the hours in daylight + having a plan that is adjusted to me personally and therefore is easy to follow, that helps me.
Since you use Vraylar, you use a medication meant for some sort of bipolar disorder (from the easiest one to the hardest to live with). Such kind of medication usually takes some time before it kicks in. They are distributed in small dozes first and then in higher dozes
I suppose that your NP didn't deny the sufferings of your SAD, but wanted to give you the best opportunities to take care of your
total Mental Health. If she weren't kind to you, that could only mean that she had a bad day, not that she had anything against you or that she didn't believe you!
It is always hard to have some sort of mental disorder. To experience SAD is terrible. This year it didn't feel it so hard as the years before for me. I think that is because I started to use the lamp early in the Autumn. After some days with bad and dark weather it bloomed again, but I try to fight it and the weather has changed to the better.
Whatever diagnose you have, Jennifer, please accept it. Life becomes more easy to cope with when one has said "Yes, I'm in it". Many people denies their diagnoses and become worse because they will not follow recommended treatment. I don't say that that goes for you! I'm only telling about it because it can happen to everyone ...
Do you meet regularly with a talking therapist?
If you have not become better before the next meeting with your NP and your NP still wants you to stay on the same medication, that may perhaps be the time for a second opinion with another skilled professional.
If you become worse, please contact your GP immediatly or call the crisis number.
Send my best wishes for you in the days and weeks to come!