can you do a burning bowl ceramony? You write down all those feelings and thoughs that are hurting you:
-I just feel like such a faluire and I don't know why.
-I've pushed everyone so far away
-I feel so weak..
-I'm just so tired of trying just to fall down again and again.
- I'm a faliure at school
-a faliure as a stage manager, as a daughter, as a sister, as a friend, as a human being.
- all this anger in me.
-I have no where else to go

and put them in a bow that is safe to burn things in (or a fireplace) and take them where it is safe to burn (in a tub with water or a sand pit (fireplace) and say out loud that you no longer want to believe these things. That you release them and allow yourself to be lighter for it. Then you burn them and they are gone! if you think them again, you can remind yourself that you got rid ot those - that you now embody the things you care about (and write those down)
-I am a good person; sister, daughter...stage manager, student.
-i like who i am because i know that person is in here somewhere.
-i can start to feel better about who i am
-i am successful in the things i do...
etc
And place those where you can see them!! So you start to believe those things instead of the old things.
Wishing you much healing!!!
Kiya