I agree with sarahsweets, jcl76. She is nowhere near ready to commit to you the way you want and need her to. She has all of that other baggage from her past and now her daughter to deal with. 2.5 months is not a long period of time. You need to decide what you want and are willing to put up with and not put up with from her. After you communicate that to her, wait for her response. If she refuses to give you a response, that in itself, is a response.

If you know you want to be with someone long-term and she refuses to give you that. Then no, you two are not compatible and you should just end things with her and move on to find someone more compatible for you. You should NEVER wait for anyone. Never.

When one partner suddenly goes hot and cold, that's never a good sign as you know. It's a red flag that I've experienced as a power play when men I've dated have been hot and cold with me. Even with friendships that happens. Now, if someone does it to me, I'll just end all communication with the person and forget about them. Easier said than done, but better for me overall, leaving them behind, in the long run.