I'll try to keep this short...

I've had an ongoing saga with a coworker that has gone WAY beyond it's boiling point. This woman is insecure, malicious and downright mean... and brags about it. Her first words to me when I started 4 years ago was "I got rid of the last girl that looked like you" To that I responded, "Not this girl"

I worked to befriend this woman and even supported her when others didn't only to have it backfire on my several times over. I finally realized that there was no reasoning with this Narcissist and made the conscious choice to end the abuse and break ties with her after one Gaslighting session too many.

She responded to this by telling another coworker of ours LIES about things that I had said about her -- even accusing me of saying that she was trying to take my job.

I finally had enough and asked to move offices which seemed to work. My peace and productivity increased, and I thought all was well... until I was summoned to HR regarding a door slamming incident.

I took the opportunity at that HR meeting to not only admit that I slammed the door, but to FULLY disclose what led to said door slamming which left little Miss Bully in tears because she wasn't prepared for me to be in the driver's seat of the bus she tried to roll over me.

So now, despite being in another building and doing all I can to avoid interaction with her as much as possible, she seems to find a way to "pick" at me... either through passive aggressive emails (which she copies our boss on) or continuing to spread rumors about me (apparently my promotion has gone to my head).

Now our boss wants us to all go out to dinner together, and I JUST DON'T WANT TO!!!!!!! As a new manager, I know it would look really bad to not go, but the thought of having to play nice with this woman WHILE I'M EATING is not appealing at all.

Isn't there a line where being the better person stops? I've done it for longer than I'd care to, and it seems like she's not being held accountable for her part.

So... should I just suck it up or catch her after hours off property (kidding --- kinda)