@thought_pool, I'd like to understand the history of your relationship..... when you say, everything he put you through, what else has he done that has caused you pain in the history of your relationship?

And as I understand you, he cheated, but you decided to stay with him? I am curious why you decided to stay after he cheated? And after what seems like potentially a longer history of issues?

Here's are the truths about cheating: it ruins and breaks trust. It creates mistrust, anxiety and insecurity in the person who was cheated on, just as you are having now. The thoughts that you have, "why wasn't I good enough", are the emotional repercussions of the action of cheating.

Those thoughts may never leave you while you are in this relationship. You may always carry a fear in your mind that he may cheat again, OR that you are not good enough to satisfy him.

The question you have to ask yourself is: Do you want to continue to live like that?

Cheating has both short and long-term consequences, and mainly for the person who was cheated on.

Is he really worth it? Are you willing to endure those types of thoughts for potentially a very long time? Are you willing to sacrifice your sense of 'emotional safety' and 'emotional security' for this man?