Quote:
Originally Posted by bpcyclist
Having been cheated upon in both my long-term deals, I agree with everything that has been said above. The real damage from cheating is not the sex, it is the deception. The amount of lying required to attempt to successfully cheat on a partner is astronomical.
I have never felt the same nor full trusted my most recent partner, whom I "forgave" and did not leave. In retrospect, I should have left. She cheated because she likes the rush of the cheating and lying and the game. It is her nature. Is it your boyfriend's?
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I understand what you're saying but this wasn't an affair, though it does not matter. I am just trying to point out that the sex was a one time thing.
I guess I am able to trust him and feel safe because he is completely forthcoming in anything I want to know and in his plans for our future.
If he continued to lie to me or blame anyone other than himself for his behaviors, I could understand continuing to feel the shame and mistrust. This is not the case though. I do believe he had low self esteem and enjoyed being complimented and flirted with by someone new (as he gained quite a bit of weight and was very unhappy with himself.)
I feel like the problem stems from me now. I want to learn how to change the way I think of myself.