Hello Lion: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to Psych Central.

I'm sorry I don't think there is going to be much in the way of advice I can offer with regard to your concerns. (Hopefully there will be other PC members who will have some thoughts they can share.) You mentioned you take medications & sometimes go to therapy. You didn't mention what diagnosis, or diagnoses, you have.

I see you posted this thread in the OCD forum. To me, as a non-professional, some of what you described sounds like schizophrenia. And then some of what you described sounds like depersonalization / derealization. However, since I'm not a mental health professional, I really can't say.

Here are links to 5 articles, from Psych Central's archives, that discuss the experience of depersonalization / derealization & offer tips for coping with it. Included are links to 2 "Ask the Therapist" columns where the writers wrote in asking about depersonalization / derealization:

6 Warning Signs You Suffer From Depersonalization Disorder

What Dissociation Feels Like: Each Type Described In A Poem | Counseling Confidential

10 Simple Ways to Relieve Depersonalization

Is It Possible I Could Have Depersonalization/Derealization Disorder? - Ask the Therapist

Nothing Feels Real, Almost Dream Like - Ask the Therapist

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.