Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 9,537
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Jan 16, 2020 at 05:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by StreetcarBlanche
@ LilyMop it's programming. Our parents' dysfunctional parental behavior programmed our socialization skills as children. We learned what we know from them as our role models. That's what I think anyway. The pattern of codependency is so difficult to break. I still do it. And I don't like that about myself. At least I'm self-aware of it now whereas I didn't have a name for it in my 20s despite some therapy back then (so, terrible therapists perhaps for not recognizing it). I still have to go back to my Melody Beattie resources for codependency. It's really a lifelong pattern of damaging behavior with relationships. The hardest part for me, is nurturing myself. That's still not something I'm used to doing. I can help everyone else, no problem. But myself? That's the struggle.
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That is great advice I wish that I had thought about that myself.
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