Hey, gang. So, long mtg. with pdoc today. Med changes, long convo about what he thinks is happening with my brain, Will share later. Big med changes, for now. Again, more on that later. He was quite worried about me. "We will make this go away," were his last words to me. "Immediately," he added. More to follow. I see him again tomorrow.

Okay. So, that's that. Now, this morning, while in the midle of a 140-minute bike ride in the rain, my cell phone, which was in my gilet pocket and totally unaccessible to me, since I was cruising 21 mph down the midnight path, quite magically and mysteriously began sending text messages (4 of them) and phone calls (2 of them) at roughly 7ish AM local time to my partner/ex-partner/not really even sure what we are. Hard to explain, we are not really together, but we have not formally uncoupled either. Long story. In my mind and heart, it is totally over. But she seems incapable of just saying the words that she would like to move on. Again, 17 years together, gorgeous child--long story.

The texts comprised a series of big, giant pulsating heart emojis, a big sign that says: I will always love you forever, two emojis making out, and some weird video of a guy gesticulating a kind of guy expression of : "Yessss!"

Now, as it turns out, I do not actually know how to attach an emoji or whatever those are called to a text message. I have no clue how to include a video in a text. And given the tenuous/totally over nature of the relationship, I would absolutely never in ten zillion years be sending her hearts and pictures of couples smooching and such. Not my style.

So, in short, I did not send any of these messages that were sent from my phone to Jenn and I did not call her, either. My phone appears to have been accessed and taken over by some outside force. Has anyone ever experienced this before? What should I do?

The thing that strikes me abou tall this, and the reason this is a primary bipolar issue for me, is that the very personal nature of these texts suggests an intimate knowledge of the rocky relationship Jenn and I have suffered through. They were highly inappropriate to the situation at hand. It feels like someone is trying to drive a wedge, which is amusing, since there is already a Grand Canyon there, between us.

As I have mentioned very briefly before, I was tortured by the Portland Police Bureau from 2010 to 2012. You think I am exaggerating? I am not. They illegally accessed my psych and prescription records and then developed a cunning strategy to attempt to either massively destabilize me or get me to commit suicide. They have done it before. When I complained loudly that my rights were being violated, the response was--"Yeah, but you're manic and psychotic, so you're just making this all up." Then, they kept doing it. Brilliant, brilliant strategy. Long story, I'll tell it someday. Suffice it to say, they have abused and murdered countless mentally ill Portalnders and are currently being monitored by the USDOJ and a federal judge because their conduct has been so disgusting and there are so many lawsuits pending, you can't count them all.

My PPB (Portland Police) PTSD is now screaming at me. Are they back again Torturing me again? I do not violate any laws. Why? Is is something else? I don't know, I am not tech savvy in the least.

How should I handle this?

Many, many thanks for all feedback, whatever it is. I am really worried right now and kind of freaking my stuff.