I feel like I am in an AA meeting for the first time, admitting that I have an eating disorder.

It's been alive on and off for years. It was active for 7 years when I was a teen and young adult. Then it suddenly stopped on its own and I was fine for many years. Then it resurfaced in my adulthood years and it's been active for about 8 years now.

I am now working on my recovery, on my own. It's my little secret though. NO ONE IRL knows, and I want to keep it that way. I am far too ashamed. It healed once, so I have faith it will heal again.

My daily check in right now is that I am working on emotional regulation and awareness each and every day so that I don't slip back into the habit of emotional eating. I am working on adopting healthier coping mechanisms.

I feel Ok today. Of course, it's only 7:15 Am and who knows what the day ahead holds. I am trying though.