Can you write down how you feel? I feel like that would be useful for You. It may even improve your Memory. Give it a try! Do you have a Therapist to whom you can share ALL of your struggles? That may be an Idea. It is useful to have someone to vent to and who will listen to us, but unfortunately Friends and Family aren't always the best option for a variety of reasons. Of course, you can laso talk to ALL of us here. In any case, I am so sorry that you're going through ALL of this! I'd suggest to talk it out to your Friends and Family if you can. At the very least they won't be too surprised when you get angry and hopefully they'll be able to understand what you mean and to help you when you need it. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Chocopiano27, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!