I've been there too and know exactly how it feels. I was stuck in every aspect of my life because of my self-attack: work, school, relationships, and overall well-being. I was shell-shocked by my own self-attack, in addition to the emotional trauma inflicted on me by the toxic people in my life. I'm still not where I want to be but I know I'm on the path now, and that gives me hope.

Hugs to you, and peace for your journey!