Well your in a abusive marriage, I’m sorry
You say she has Bipolar ? Is she on medications ? Actually taking them ? Does she see a Therapist?
Just because she has Bipolar doesn’t mean she can be abusive, its never acceptable. How is she with your daughter ? Patient and kind?
Of course your going to question if your to blame. That’s what all victims think and will always doubt your self worth.
Will she agree to go to couples counseling? If she just refuses there’s not much you can do to save the marriage.
I think you should find a Therapist for yourself, you need support to deal with all this.
As for different parenting styles? That is a huge problem for many parents. The counseling can also help people make compromises in raising a child. A child needs a loving home and some structure to thrive.
I hope things improve for you