I feel very sad for you I am also going through something similar although my husband and I are in our mid 30's. My hisband and I have been together 20 years, married 12 we have 2 children. We also were friends forever and sort of neglected our marriage and relationship when we had children which led to arguments and stress and just a growing apart in general. Recently in July he asked for a separation. He said he needed space and time to think about our marriage and to get away from the arguments. I begged, pleaded, cried because I NEVER thought this would happen to us. Then I decided, ok a break, it might help us. Then in October of 2019 on our first family trip to Disneyland I found out he had been having an affair with a woman (also married) for 2 years behind my back. I HAD NO IDEA! She lives 9 hrs away from us and he basically has told me he feels for her like he never has for me. Their relationship is through texts and an occasional meetup every 3-6 mo. I was furious, my husband and I have never had trust issues so this was a complete smack in the face for me. Its been almost 3 months since i found out about the affair, which he is still having, and I am at a loss for what to do. So I feel for you, I hope you can get the help you need. But I understand how hard it is. Although my husband is only 38. I also believe this is some sort of midlife crisis and he is just excited about the newness and fantasy of someone new instead of the same old me. It does hurt a lot