For now, we’ve settled on seeing my therapist 2 to 3 times per week instead of IOP unless anything changes. I had a rough appt with her on thurs so she called my husband in to both make sure he took care of everything sharp and come up with a game plan to give me company at night when this depression is at it’s worse. He didn’t follow through with the second part but it’s not entirely his fault. Last night for instance he had worked from 6-4:30 AM that day so he was exhausted and simply couldn’t make it and had to get back up at 4:30 this morning to do it all again. I told my mom the same thing (my t suggested we get her help as well) and she didn’t volunteer to help. She just told me to take more klonapin. But, like last night and tonight, she is keeping 2 of my brother’s kids so she couldn’t even if she planned it. Last night was another rough one. I couldn’t go to sleep until after 12 then I woke up again around 1 and then after 3 as well. Now today is also rough and my husband is working all day so it’s just me and the kids. I want to go back to sleep but I drank my regular coffee so I’m too awake. I feel worthless though so getting things done feels nearly impossible and I really want to because I want my husband to come home to a clean house and some of the laundry finished. Plus, I haven’t showered in 4 days and I cringe at the thought. But I know that is so disgusting. I just don’t want to get off the couch. I absolutely will though. I’m at the point I can’t even deal with myself right now. I feel so gross and my hair is all greasy. On the plus side, I’m down 18 lbs!