My Support Forums - View Single Post - Bipolar check-in #42

Wander · Jan 18, 2020, 11:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Fibro exacerbations can be so incredibly painful, so distressing in many ways. I go through this and am sorry you do, as well.

Relationships are rather notoriously challenging, for sure. it certainly seems as though you both care deeply for one another. Of course, we also need to consider whether the differences/difficulties are weighing upon us too heavily, affecting any aspect of our well-being to any degree.

Any chance a couple's counselor might assist him with some insight and/or help him to take responsibilities? I'm not second-guessing you. In thinking about what you've written, I am reminded of relationships I've seriously had to end. I am also reminded of a couple of others where I am sorry I did not try even short-term counseling.

it's fantastic you are proactively addressing your goals for your future!
This reminds me that I need to better adjust and clarify mine!

You are sounding good!

Much Love, Wander!

Thanks WC. When we were married we sought counselling, and we met with my T several times. My T knew our marriage T and they agreed it was hopeless in a lot of ways due to my partners gross lack of insight, or his ability to follow through with any suggested changes. I was advised to accept him as he is (and all that comes with it) or move on. I stayed with him for another year, but in the end the stress of being in a relationship with him was too much.

To get reduce stress we don't live together and meet up when we are both up to it. This works pretty well, and we do have fun - which is why I stay. However, I can feel him slowly dragging me down as at times he can be the most selfish, un-grateful, and even mean, person. He has personality issues along with Bipolar and ADHD. I can handle his metal illnesses; it's his personality flaws that crush me. He has been the love of my life. We have a very intense bond. It is going to be difficult working out what to do. There is no rush. I am not giving more than I am able or willing to give, and I don't put up with poor treatment either. It's stressful though.