L,
Are you mad at me? Are you going to leave me now? Part of me wants you to leave me. Then I don't have to keep to my promises. I'm really tired of life. Exhausted. And I'm so hurt by your limitations even though I understand them. And yes, it really makes me not trust you. I'm wondering if/when you're going to contact me back. You implied in the last email that I should wait for in session. I didn't miss that, I just chose to disregard it. I didn't want to sit with my feelings. Are you getting tired of me? Have I worn you down? Part of me thinks you're keeping up a charade. There's no way someone can be that nice. I'm waiting for your human side to appear. The one with flaws. I'm not looking to be punished. It's hard. I don't want to lose you, but I do. I want to cancel and I want you to hold me and tell me everything's going to be okay.

PS - I really don't want to start school!