I probably should've gotten more help. My symptoms seem so much more prevalent in my life now. I'm feeling worse day after day. I have a session of brainspotting (trauma therapy technique, sort of similar to EMDR) set for next week. Not sure if it's actually any kind of good idea and I'm feeling pushed and forced into it. Again. Like the past two times, and I don't recall those actually making positive changes in my life this past year. In fact, last year at this time I was at least able to function slightly better. Now look at me. "It's how we get you better." "It's the only thing that can work." Why are these the facts? I can't believe they are. I feel trapped and locked down into a decision I didn't want. I want to be better, but why can't people hear me when I say "I don't want to do this." It's like it has never, and will never, matter what I feel comfortable with.