Thanks WC. When we were married we sought counselling, and we met with my T several times. My T knew our marriage T and they agreed it was hopeless in a lot of ways due to my partners gross lack of insight, or his ability to follow through with any suggested changes. I was advised to accept him as he is (and all that comes with it) or move on. I stayed with him for another year, but in the end the stress of being in a relationship with him was too much.

To get reduce stress we don't live together and meet up when we are both up to it. This works pretty well, and we do have fun - which is why I stay. However, I can feel him slowly dragging me down as at times he can be the most selfish, un-grateful, and even mean, person. He has personality issues along with Bipolar and ADHD. I can handle his metal illnesses; it's his personality flaws that crush me. He has been the love of my life. We have a very intense bond. It is going to be difficult working out what to do. There is no rush. I am not giving more than I am able or willing to give, and I don't put up with poor treatment either. It's stressful though.