Quote:
Originally Posted by eskielover
What did you expect them to be able to do & why did you expect them to be able to do it?
Do you think they had a right to make their own choices about whether they could accomplish anything by getting involved? Distancing is sometimes the best choice rather than adding useless input to the already existing drama when they KNOW there is nothing they can do to change anything. That in its own way validates just how bad it was. It SEEMS LIKE they saw it & you just didn't acknowledge they saw it because they didn't do anything to help you.
Even your lawyer basically told you to just walk away with what you could get & that pursuing a law suit would be way too costly & wouldn't get you what you wanted anyway.
Sometimes the choices we make aren't easy but when we do them with OUR OWN best interest involved, being satisfied is our best option.
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If I may add to this conversation, much of what is being said really hits home with me. So often a person in a unhealthy or dependent relationship wants to continue the relationship without understanding what is best for the relationship. It is okay to be naive or not know, and the best way to start to get what you want from the relationship is to mend the effects of drama, abuse and violence by working on yourself. I agree that it is a persons choice to believe lies they tell others or they tell themselves. And yes, to begin to recognize patterns and remove yourself from damaging lies will allow your mind to develop a stronger response system to defend and heal.
I’m sorry, OpenEyes - possibly the competition for your mothers love and drama that your sister causes allows for this type of dependency to continue. Because I know it is draining, I feel for you and I know how physically, mentally and emotionally draining manipulative behavior can be. It sucks you into a world that is not your own. I think it is okay to feel jealous and to use that emotion to better yourself. I mean if you do not feel superior to who you once were, you will not change either and will not want to grow and learn for yourself and those around you.