I too have anxiety so I can't imagine what it must be like to be starting your first job in 20 years. Good for you. That is so wonderful. I don't know the rules of SSDI so don't know what this will do to that. I think you will be given some type of vest to wear to identify yourself as an employee so maybe khaki's and a polo shirt. As far as your debts, have you thought about bankruptcy? I filed in 2000 and of course there was shame involved but I have moved past that. Tell yourself how brave you were to apply for this job after all these years and that millions of people have started new jobs and that there will be people there to help you. And try to be compassionate with yourself as you are learning like you would be with a friend. Good luck to you.