This dynamic is coming from your own childhood where you constantly had to deal with a parent, probably father that never gave you the love and attention you needed and deserved. If I recall you said your father was also an alcoholic. You have been trying to FIX something you could never fix as a child and you tried to love your father as most children do, despite the fact that your father had a disease/addiction and was not capable of giving you the kind of love you deserved. You actually learned to accept rejection and not having healthy and safe attention, it's what you KNOW and why you keep going back with this guy.
Your own healing will never come from trying to fix this other individual, instead it's going to come from walking away from getting involved with that kind of person and instead choosing to FINALLY engage in a much healthier relationship.
Also, you don't want to teach your son that it's ok to engage in a relationship where the other person behaves this way right? Your son NEEDS you to show him how to say NO and walk away. That will be something he will need to know how to do for the rest of his life.
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