Still feeling sick today. I've got like heartburn and this phlegmy cough and on and off nausea. I'm up to soup and bread and had eggs for breakfast today, oh and also drinking pure or practically pure water. This process is he'll on my mind! Like, I don't even want to eat because of nausea but some of that is hunger so I feel better after eating some, but then if I take a wrong bite of something, I lose a little progress it seems.

Possible trigger (ED)

On another note, I oddly seem to be maintaining my fast naturally. But I still look so fat! Like no change! I haven't weighed myself yet since being sick because I weigh at my parents house and they're home now and I don't want to face them... but I'm afraid I'm already gaining back all the weight I may have lost and that depresses me. :/ I mean, the one good thing about being sick is weight loss, no? But I'm afraid I'm back to where I was and I'm STILL not even eating my normal diet. Do I really have to eat so very less to maintain or lose weight anymore?? I mean, yesterday I had two bowls of chicken soup and 3.5 pieces of toast and a banana and applesauce...think that's it. I dunno. Maybe that IS normal and I have a binge eating disorder, but at the same time, I hate my body (well, right now I'm frustrated. I don't always hate it, but I hate that losing weight is so hard) and try to distract myself from food till I can't take the hunger anymore and even after eating just a little, I'm scared to eat more even if I am hungry. I mean, I'm scared of being sick again more than looks, but it's both there. I wanna weigh and see like 4lbs down, but I probably didn't even lose that much because it took two weeks for me to lose two pounds before.

Rant done