He shouldn’t be allowed around your son let alone make comments about or to your son. As a single adult you can date or otherwise spend time with who ever you want to. But he cannot be around your kid and if you are around someone like this dude, please don’t bring your son around dysfunction.

You keep focusing on why is this guy the way he is all while your son is direct and indirect victim of this dysfunction. Take focus off this man and whatever childhood he had and bring focus to your son. It’s not ok to expose your son to this life style. While you keep analyzing this dude’s childhood and your own upbringing, your child has less than desirable childhood because he is after thought after this man. Analyzing this man can’t be that important!

Please take it seriously or seek help