Hi Alishia - welcome back! I also drop in and out of here, and in and out of therapy even, as I feel the urge to. I totally agree with your thoughts on thinking you may be doing ok, but you can do better, be better - nothing wrong at all in us trying to continuously improve ourselves, mentally or otherwise! I also would not recommend online EMDR therapy, for the exact reasons splitimage said. Confession - I looked up some online EMDR modules, prior to actually doing them with my therapist. The online stuff helped me to understand what I would be doing with her....but on my own, wasn't helping me at all. It honestly caused me to look at EMDR as a bunch of nonsense. Then my therapist did it with me...and it was like magic. You mentioned living abroad, as to why you were considering the online therapy. I take it that it's not available in person, near you? Have you considered a different type of therapy, perhaps? Others here have mentioned using other trauma based therapies that have helped them. EMDR is not the ~only~ treatment. I personally think that the ~trauma based~ part is the real key to whether therapy will help with PTSD, so perhaps seek out a trauma based therapy other than EMDR would help?