@~Christina and anyone else confused by my posts over my time here.

quick summary (although I'm tired and might forget something)

All started after a terribly traumatic breakup with a group of friends. I was alternating between depression and anxiety and had been alternating between a euphoric-like type feeling with them as well as anxiety that they didn't like me. They had suggested therapy for me and at the time I thought they were crazy. Just because they needed it, didn't mean I did. They kicked me to the curb. At that point, I felt that they made me crazy and I did need therapy. I went to therapy and it helped some, but she was concerned I had ADHD and I kept thinking I had bipolar (because the group of friends who rejected me shared a lot of traits with me and they had bipolar).
So, I asked to be referred to a pdoc (or technically an NP at this point). i was initially diganosed with depression and anxiety and was prescribed Prozac and Propranolol. Then it was bipolar after a few visits and I was prescribed Latuda. Then, she thought I needed to see a real pdoc to possibly rule out bpd (i had read about bpd and I exhibited this "favorite person" syndrome and thought some other things sounded familiar).

Still in therapy but at some point, i had to see a different therapist for the psych evaluation to go through. She suggested to check hormones. Well, I got a stubborn doctor (endocronologist) who wouldn't do it because if I have my period, I can't have hormone issues. Or well, i guess he tested for some. Regardless, I came back healthy. In a later visit with my current primary care doctor (who had previously diagnosed me with IBS, anxiety, hypothyroidism, and/er well the inflammatory autoimmune disorder-which i won't mention cuz it's rare and i'm private-was diagnosed previously but he's continuing treatment with it along with herbal and vitamin supplements, diet and exercise for low iron, and low vitamin d.) Amidst all of this, i was also put on an med for ADHD (Intuniv) but it made me exhibit hypomanic symptoms (no sleep, jitters, racing thoughts). i got off that right away. Then we tried bipolar medication. Latuda was one, because it would help with sleep too. It knocked me out, but it was so expensive. So I got an order of Trazadone and switched to Abilify. (at some point I switched from Propranolol to Clonazepam for anxiety and from Prozac to Zoloft for depression).

I did do a psych evaluation, i can't find the paperwork at the moment, but for sure I was diagnosed with dependant personality disorder and unspecified biipolar disorder (i think the others were depression and GAD). Well, my mood was stabilizing (or was already stabalized from the Latuda), but i was gaining so much weight. I asked to come off of the Abilify because i was doubting my, at that time, bipolar nos diagnosis. I mean, I assumed it meant that i really didn't have bipolar. But i kept questioning and was asking questions here and I still wonder. I doubted my dpd diagnosis from day one. Reading others' posts on various sites, I don't really relate to them...except for the anxiety. And finally, this was right before coming off of Abilify, I was finishing up some one on one therapy with my first therapist with my husband present. We had tried to work out a chore schedule and a sleep schedule because of my issues were effecting my daily to dos. Eventually hubby got fed up that it wasn't really changing me... I made one last try with some DBT with a third therapist. It was like common sense to me though and we hit a roadblock because there were some things that I just couldn't do on principle (not getting into that). But basically, i wasn't gaining anything from being there, so I quit. The last mental health professional i saw was the pdoc to help me get off the Abilify. And now here we are...it's been almost a year since then (or half a year). At any rate, I only lost about half to twothirds of what I gained, so I've been kinda depressed and frustrated to lose weight and others are concerned about my future health should I remain so big (I'm not THAT big, but they're concerned nonetheless, so it's big enough).

think that's it! i mean, I think I got everything in there pretty close.

sigh! I'm tired now!...and hungry!