so last week's session was pretty awful. seems to be our pattern, doesn't it. perhaps the first one of the year being SO great just set us up for disappointment. i really do want a better ratio this year, though. because the bad ones are a lot more difficult for me than they are for you. i guess it'll help if i speak up more in the moment - about how i'm feeling, what's coming up for me, what's being triggered - rather than trying to shift the focus onto you and all the ways you annoy me.

this is such hard work. even now, after all this time. i guess twenty years of abuse, no safe person and no safe place really did a number on me. at least i can call it abuse now - that's progress, right?!

see you tomorrow. i'll work on introspecting and talking; you work on trying not to annoy me too much