Quote:
Originally Posted by Open Eyes
My sister is four years older than me and she felt threatened by my presence from the time I was just an infant. I recently came across an old photo and I was such a peanut compared to her and I was around age 7, so I realized how that difference in age and size can have an impact for many years in one's childhood. Infact, all my life I had this feeling of needing to look over my shoulder, I thought it was normal. Well, it's not normal only MY normal. Years later in flashbacks I learned where it actually came from and that it was her hovering over me and she was a negative presence. She was not a healthy presence for me in that she did attack my self esteem and I did not even know what self esteem even meant but I felt it. This can be something a person unknowingly carries their entire lives.
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What you said feels like my reality too. My sister was always much bigger than me. She's 2 years older and I wals always 20 or so lbs. smaller than she was at the same age. That's why the bullying was a big deal. When she hit you and she said she barely touched you, it actually hurt a lot because she hit harder than anyone I know.
Today I was thinking of the 12 year old boy she chased and beat up in a shopping center when she was in high school and I started thinking he could have grown up into someone who might one day go out and shoot a bunch of stangers. Because no one knows what that kind of treatment is like unless you were on the receiving end.
It's nice to find people who know what it's like to grow up with a bully. Lately she started claiming to be a victim and showing people photos of me as a baby to prove I was born with a bad temper. Like you said, if a baby looks unhappy it's probably the fault of the family. Thanks for sharing.
