Ok, this morning is one of those days where it's tough to "hold" all that I am carrying inside.

Last night I realized how many different things are upsetting me and dragging me down. I've been aware of it all, but last night it all kind of caved in on me. And I didn't feel like my normal self. Usually, I am a pretty happy person.. not always, but generally I am. And generally I am a very positive-minded person. It's a big challenge right now to feel happy and positive-minded with all that I am carrying and holding inside.

I guess I feel I am carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders right now. I have to BREATHE and LET GO of all that I cannot control. And a lot of things are out of my hands.

And personal growth is HARD. Change is HARD. I have to remember to be proud of myself for working on all my issues. It's easy to get bogged down in the negative.

I really wish I had a therapist to talk to about all these issues. I left a message to the Director to follow up on getting a new one, and no response yet. I am going to have to call again. I really could use a professional's input, encouragement and perspective.

I need to feel encouraged and inspired, and I feel the opposite. I feel terribly alone. I am battling SO much in life, all by myself, between healing my eating disorder, working on losing weight while having the urge to binge eat, managing my emotional reactions and upset, coping with my work issues and trying to resolve my marital issues. I am really down-spirited. I could really use someone to talk to.