Ft was very emotional and didnt have a problem crying in session or on the phone… so even if she was trained for terminations i bet she has been very emotional about it. and from here her words… i keep thinking about her and him all the time.

today would have been FT session day… right… NOW. i had this hopeless hope that she would contact me but she didnt. im not sure i miss sessions more than i miss T so that shows i was right quitting.

im drunk right now by the way.

im still waiting for MT to answer my email. i hope he will tomorrow or… whenever he wishes, just hoping he eventually will...

if they asked me, im not sure id go back, maybe not even for them. i feel more and more convinced it was the right thing to do, but i miss them as hell.

i keep looking at WhatsApp to see if FT is online and if MT has had access. just looking for some kind of connection. just looking for a sign they are still alive.

when i see our last messages and think about her last email i cant help but thinking she is now disgusted by me and what i feel and she hates me. its so hurting.
im not sure what to think about MT until he answers me (f he will).

as for him, i keep faithfully waiting for a sign from him but a week has passed already so maybe i'll never hear back from him at all.

its not as bad right now because i still have the hope to hear from then at a certain point… it will be a lot worse when this stupid hope will leave me and i'll know for sure im alone and all by myself.

first wed without T... ***** T... i dont need T anymore.

PS. i just realized their lives are always filled with someone or something, its just mine the one who is empty without them...