I’ve just had this email through from my old therapist. It’s knocked me a little bit, I didn’t expect to hear from her. I haven’t contacted her since we spoke about my way forward a week ago. I don’t get why she’s telling me about her home life? I’m really thinking about reporting her but I feel like I’m just doing it out of anger and hurt. What does everyone think? I’m really upset by this. I haven’t changed anything other than blanked out names for confidentiality. Just want to know everyone’s opinion? Is this the kind of email a therapist would send to a client? Why is she reiterating that she’s terminated me? I got it pretty clearly the first time...

Hey (my name),

I have had a rough few weeks but we are working on things relentlessly, and I'm hopeful our family can evolve from this moment and its trauma. (Husband) has broken down and destroyed everything he loves, in the grief of how broken it all is, but this desperate behaviour is something I can forgive and not take personally (if I can survive the experience of it). (Husband) is bereft of his behaviour and is a broken man trying to surface from this torment (and its negative effects upon him as a person, especially towards the people he loves the most).I have to have strong boundaries with my husband, friends, son, even (daughter); because I know how much I am personally struggling as a human being, and what it can cause in me.

it is really wonderful to read how far you have come in such a short amount of time, especially as you are building from scratch! it all sounds really positive and very autonomous, which will gift you practice of navigating the ownership of your life and body's wellbeing. I am so delighted for you and hope you continue to be immensely proud of yourself; particularly because you have surmounted a difficult ending with me too.

I truly am empty at this time and have no belief in my ability to stay safe in your transition, so I feel it best (and actually necessary for your evolution and emancipation of the transference and difficulties you had with me) that you continue this journey in separation of me. that isn't to say that I never want to hear from you again, nor that this will be the lasting boundary, its just what I feel is the right thing by you right now (and also my body too). I still believe an ending process could be needed, but will hold that space for this process open for you to choose or not, at any time you feel appropriate.

I really hope your physical wound is getting the protection and care response it deserves, and you are healing; even more profoundly I wish this for your core soul wounds. keep up your amazing work, I believe in you.

with love (therapist) xx