Quote:
Originally Posted by TishaBuv
I never read the book The Rules, but was taught them by my mom who was a teen and married in the early 50’s. Being a teen in the late 70’s, I thought her rules were ridiculous. Basically they consisted of ideas like; let the man pursue you, don’t be overly easy and available, act like ‘marriage material’. It was not to act disinterested, rather to not act desperate as that turns off a potential partner. Wouldn’t you agree that’s true? At the time, though, I fought it and cringed. I insisted the sexes were equal and there were no rules. But, every time I pursued, I got rejected. I concluded men don’t really want to be pursued. They want to be the hunter. It’s their nature. Ok, everyone go ahead and jump on me here! Lol.  So, I did eventually take my mom’s advice and a man did pursue and marry me, and I was very happy with that.
Now, I’m not young and single in this generation. So, I have no idea what the thinking is of today. I rather liked these old school rules because we all knew what to expect. Now, with no one knowing what’s what, is everyone confused? |
I know this wasn't quoted at me but I felt a little inclined to reply to what you're saying. When you're talking about don't act desperate I just feel like that is just an insecurity not to be able to be honest about how you might feel and it not get reciprocated so it's easier to be somewhat distant.
I feel like if you can't be honest about how you feel and people who are playing games acting like they dont give a dang I've kinda always took it like well what's the point of being with you or pursuing you if you have to fake how you feel; That's like literally not being who you are.
If someone texts me I usually respond as soon as I see it or if someone tells me they want to do something i'll tell them I'm excited or if someone says they like me If I like them too I'll let them know. To me that's just being a mature adult in a relationship. People shouldn't have to walk on eggshells to express themself based off a toxic dynamic pandered in dating culture.
I had an experience not to long ago where I told someone I enjoy spending time with them and I'd like to keep spending time with them and poof, never heard from them again.
I've had women say I'm desperate and be nasty but also women who adore me and tell me never to change this part of me. I guess I'd much rather build a relationship on honesty and not disingenuous norms. Because no one really wins that way. That's why a lot of people are in relationships and still miserable...