I'm not much of an expert in online dating. And, I'm trying to keep it to a minimum. My experience with online dating has been bad and good. Bad because I met my ex online and it turned into a disaster because he and I were too ill at the time to be married. However, now I am doing much better after realizing that I need to take care of myself first and foremost. You can't expect people to like you if you don't take care of yourself and like yourself.


After thinking that I was not going to meet a man from France whom I told about my mental illness and still says he cares about me, I'm planning to meet him. I have been myself with him and honest. I've had people tell me not to invest in online relationships. I know if you never meet the person online, then it is a waste of time. But, he and I are going really slowly and are making steps to meet now after chatting for about three months. I feel a chemistry with him and sparks whereas with other men who are easier to meet for me so far have not been as interesting to say the least.

I am not seeking anything but a good relationship which makes me happy. I have to admit, I met a man who've I discussed on this site who was disabled by a stroke who was nice but no sparks between us- we were like brother and sister until he asked for nude pics. Then, I realized he was no different than any other man who was seeking a physical relationship. I thought we would be friends first and some thing would develop later but for me it just did not work. Thus, I like the French man who is sexy and sweet and makes me smile when we talk. He is full of vitality but of course he complains a lot about life but don't we all. I thought the distance between us would be a problem but so far we are handling it well. I tried to find other men to meet and have but feel nothing for them. They are nice and cordial but no sparks for me.

So, I have been honest with the French man and it has been difficult for me given my situation. I can't really go out to meet anybody now but have been given the opportunity to leave my situation. I am taking it and will try to make plans to meet my French man. He believes that love conquers all boundaries and obstacles. I am beginning to believe in his perspective. Before, I was more pragmatic and did not believe such nonsense that love can overcome problems. From my perspective, since many people and my family told me to remain single and not meet people online, I've decided to to what I would like and follow through on the man I do care about deeply now. It is not an easy road to follow one's heart because we are in different countries and are from different cultures. However, he has not changed his tune and say he loves me and wants to meet me. It would be easier for me to forget about him. But, so far I've not been able to do this although I've tried.

So, I agree with the op that one should be true to one's feelings and follow one's heart. Then, may be, you will find the one to be with who will make you happy and smile. And, if you believe you feel needy and clingy, I would take the time to work on yourself first and find out the reason for such behavior. As I said, you must take care of yourself first, then when you are in a healthy situation, you can start finding people to complement you and who like you as you.

Online dating apps are not always good because many people on them are players or scammers. It takes some time to learn to sift through such people and find someone who clicks with you. For me, I've still have not met my French man but am optimistic that it will work between us since we are still in contact and have gone through some ups and downs and are still trying to make it work.

"all's fair in love and war."