Ok, my jaw dropped on that one. Did the boss say the part about if you'd been paying attention, you would have known? Or is that you, being harsh on yourself? I can't begin to answer why you became the judge jury executioner - but I can tell you why I do. I was brutally taught to do that to myself, without even realizing it, by the one who caused me to have CPTSD to begin with. One thing among many I am trying to un-learn, coupled with something new trying to learn - how to not tell myself the same crap he always used to tell me...and trying to learn how to be kinder to myself. Maybe you, too?