Yes, trying to be kinder to myself. Thanks, Kathleen. I just can't seem to do it in the work environment. Why oh why oh why.

I'm sorry you were brutally taught to be harsh with yourself.

It's just the most awful irony, isn't it, that we carry out their work for them, by mimicking their voice in this way.

The cause of my CPTSD (father) didn't verbally put me down. But his explosions of temper kept me on edge all the time. So I don't hear his voice in that way, saying I'm useless. That must be tough for you, if you do.

With me, my father was dangerous and sometimes completely lost control of himself. So, I absorbed the message that I might be killed. And I suppose that implied to my subconscious that I deserved to be killed.

That's the crux of it.

If only I could get in the way of that connection being made...