I ran across an article on Facebook the other day. It was a scary mommy post disparaging diets and western diet and body shaming culture. At the end, it mentioned a something called intuitive eating. I looked it up. And I like the idea.

It’s basically a way to “repair your relationship with food”. There are ten principles. But the overall idea is first and foremost learning to use food as a way to nourish your body. Respect when you are hungry and eat until you are full. Learn the difference between emotional hunger and physical hunger. And above all, learn to love your body, no matter what weight you are. No more diets, no more crazy attempts to lose weight, no more forbidden foods.

I am drawn to this. Low carb has left me feeling deprived. I looked at apple cinnamon Cheerios in the grocery store the other day and thought “damn I miss those but I can’t have them”. I am tired of trying and failing to lose weight. I don’t think I would be any happier at a lower weight. I have plenty of pretty clothes in my size. I can get pretty clothes pretty easily online. And above all, my dr says I am in very good health. My bloodwork showed no signs of diabetes, high cholesterol, or any other weight related diseases. I wish I was fitter, and as soon as I can I will start taking walks to build up my stamina, but not to lose weight. I am done bashing my head against the wall, feeling guilty every time I go over on carbs and/or calories. I hate it. I want to be able to have a bowl of cereal or an Oreo without hating myself. And I’m going to.

So no more diets for me. I am going to eat what I want. I don’t have cravings for super unhealthy food most of the time, and I do not binge anymore. I think I will do pretty well with not going out of control.

RS tells me how beautiful I am multiple times every single day. I just need to believe him. He’s the only one I want to look beautiful for. If anyone else has a problem with my weight, **** em.

I think I will be much happier this way. The last principle of intuitive eating is “honor your body”. That is when you start incorporating healthful choices into your diet, when YOU feel you are ready. No calorie counting, no carb counting, nothing like that. I know how to eat healthy. But I’m not willing to give up everything in order to do so. If I want pizza, I’m going to eat the dam pizza.

I feel liberated. Today is the first day I didn’t use my calorie tracking app in years and it felt so freeing. I have not overeaten. I am going to make some popcorn for a snack and call it. Night. And feel good about it.