I have Bipolar 1

I had lots of meds I had to stop because of side effects I think everyone does at some point.

I stopped my meds once not really thinking I was cured I just felt disconnected from the world around me. I was off then a couple weeks and I felt I was alive again, I could see , hear touch things. 6/8 months later I started to destabilize so I went back on meds.

I am currently off meds since last March... not to specific side effects. But I have a lot of physical illness that require a lot medications. I just felt chemically over whelmed. I felt so sick, ill, terrible all the time. I have a fatty liver , PsA, psoriasis and Fibro , CFS , etc etc is a long list Asthma Meds and few others

So I truly felt compelled to take a medication break off any meds possible psych or physical.

I set up a good taper schedule .. one Med at a time , factored in the half life and then time for my brain to function sans meds.

I got off 7 meds I think.. physically I felt clearer, I didn’t feel as bogged down, I didn’t really have any problems.

I had quite a bit of situational things happen but my reaction was the same as anyone’s would be.

I started Humira for my PsA but come to find out 4 months later during a 6 week battle with terrible asthma flare that Humira caused it.

So just lots of crap.

Anyway before I did stop meds , I had a long talk to my husband, I told him if I can’t see myself destabilizing then I will trust his judgment and go back on meds. I’ve had some bleeps here and there , feeling depressed for a week here and there not so much feeling up because I just have too many chronic pain conditions tamps that down quite a bit.

Will I need meds again?? Oh yeah I’m certain I will ... maybe next week or 3 months from now or longer.

I was taking such a large amount of chemicals daily I truly felt my body just needed a break , I felt like it was all mingling into a toxic soup.

I know I’ll always have Bipolar , in all reality going back in my life I was showing signs at age 6 , treated a few times in my 20’s for depression. Looking back I just went hypo:manic for months and months

I was finally diagnosed BP at 43 , I’ll be 53 this year.

Big Pharma infuriates me. I truly feel they can make more truly weight neutral meds. But why? All those companies make drugs to treat hpb, diabetes, surgeries for ruined joints from excess weigh... here take this Med oh geee sorry it gives you akathesia but it’s okay we have a Med for that ... etc etc etc Oh yeah you will get use to that hand tremor blah blah blah

As long as I am the best me I can be , go about my life, it not effect my marriage and loved ones I will stay off

One day I’ll probably wake up and think “Yep” time to get back on that train.. I’ll probably be sad of course but everyday my liver and kidneys thank me for giving them a break from chemicals.

Hope all that [emoji4]^ rambling makes some kinda sense