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Old Jan 23, 2020, 06:40 AM
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Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,745
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gymgirl71 View Post
it’s ok..I need tough love. He literally flipped out because a household item of his was stained and when I didn’t answer yes or no he lost it..he is really a total control freak. I understand not wanting things ruined but who lashes out at a person over it? A sociopath that’s who..I asked him to bring me my things..he says he needs space so aka punishing me..and then had no regards for my feelings..let him be someone else’s problem, I’m sick of feeling this way.
@Bill3 had a good idea.

In addition to that, once I wrote out ALL things that an ex did that meant I shouldn't be with him -- everything he did that upset me, that disappointed me, that made me feel like I should walk away -- and I carried that list around with me in my wallet and referred to it each time I thought I would go back. It worked. I even wrote down all the times he called me nasty names, and included the nasty words in my list of negatives.

You have labelled this man as a sociopath and a narcissist.

I am wondering if you personally feel defeated by walking away from him? Like YOU lost the battle? As though YOU somehow couldn't make it work? Do you feel responsible for making this relationship work? It seems you carry that on your shoulders.

Remember that it's HIM. He is an alcoholic and a narcissist. You cannot change those things.
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Hugs from:
Bill3, Purple,Violet,Blue
Thanks for this!
Bill3